amber can walk

I really enjoy watching monthly favourite videos so I thought I'd do the blogging equivalent. I've spent a lot of time eating art this month so I have had to narrow down my choices to stuff that I have a lot to say about Music The biggest item on this list regarding music is the fact that I spontaneously bought a record player, which I'm considering an early birthday present to myself.  The main reason I even decided to do this was because I spontaneously bought Orla Gartland's vinyl record (pic and link) with both of her most recent EPs on it. I love Orla's music so much and I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to physically own her music.  This sparked a desire to build a physical music collection. I'm very excited to be able to play music without using the internet. I've spent a good chunk of the end of this month listening to Why Am I Like This? and Freckle Season on repeat. I am unsure how much damage is done to vinyls by doing this. Will h

I wanted to finish my blogging challenge before July ended. I was honestly going to try and post twice a week but that didn't happen evidently. The last challenge was to look at a quote and analyse its significance to your life. I picked a quote by Leslie Jamison:                                                                                      'Keep bleeding, just toward something beyond blood' This is the quote at the beginning of my bullet journal for July. I want to say that I found this quote organically in an interesting book and after I read it, I stroked my chin thoughtfully. But that didn't happen.  I was scrolling through Tumblr and it came up on my dash. I liked the post, and later, I put it in a Google Doc that I specifically created for quotes to decorate my bullet journal with. Whilst I do wish its origin was more romantic, the significance to me is not reduced. The origin of the quote comes from an essay called 'Grand Unified Theory of Femal

To continue on with my blogging challenge, I'd like to write about the art wall I'm building in my room. I began wanting to decorate my room an unspecified amount of time ago. I'm not being vague intentionally. Time hasn't really functioned properly during the pandemic, and even though the lockdown has been eased in my country, I still struggling to distinguish between days.  I've struggled to feel grounded by anything for a long time. Every year since I left my family home for uni, I've lived in a different place. It was uni halls twice, a student house for a year and then the house I'm living in now. Nowhere has felt like home. Because of this, it felt kind of pointless to decorate. I had fantasies of fairy lights and posters. Plants and carpets. Just anything that would make a space mine. But what was the use? I would have to move all of that stuff out anyway. Arranging a room is very personal and there was no point in doing that if I wouldn

In 2018, Amber was 20 years old, in her second year of uni and living in a student house with her current housemate, her housemate's ex and our mutual friend. Her routine consisted of getting up far too early, walking 25 minutes to the train station (because she hated getting the bus), travelling to uni on the train and either attending lecture or sitting in the library for most of the day. She was deeply in love with her university course, which just involved reading books and watching films, and then analysing them with other people who also loved doing those things. Her love of poetry and writing felt in its infancy and proficient at the same time. Her course had opened her eyes to how she could be doing better. To how she become a professional. And yet she wouldn't show it to anyone. Her weekends were either drinking in the kitchen with her housemates or travelling to her parent's house every other weekend, because she was struggling to cope with the fact that

I can't say that this was an average day because it involved me putting a bed together. And yet, I promised to document to a day in the life. So here we are. 9.15am - I set my alarm for this time. Not the time I usually get up but my housemate had asked me to help her move some furniture out of her room. Her ex was coming to pick up some furniture for his new flat and she wanted it moving downstairs. However, I sat in bed checked Twitter before I got up. 9.30am - I actually got out of bed. I went to brush my teeth and then got dressed. Whilst I was brushing my hair, the ex arrived early. Said he would move the furniture himself, so I got back in bed and listened to some music for a bit. When he left, I ate my breakfast - a croissant which I put in the microwave. 11.30am - My housemate and I spent two hours putting together her new bed. We spent most of that time sliding the slats of the bed into their holes. She was very scared it would immediately fall apart once the

And...I'm back. It's been a while. Nearly a full year. We should celebrate! I don't know why but I keep coming back to blogging. I've never been consistent with it. I always forget to do it, but I actually want to try this time. Who knew actually planning, putting effort into working and then attempting to complete your goals will actually help you complete them? I'm calling this the abyss because it all seems so daunting, despite the fact there are absolutely no consequences to me posting my opinions online. Not many people will read this blog. I will post this link to Twitter and Tumblr, and maybe some curious person may come across it, but other than that, it is unlikely to go viral. I'm not expecting massive backlash against my review of District 9 in 2017. So what is the issue? Why is it so hard to let people see your work? For me, it's two-fold. The personal and the political. Writing for me is very personal. I do it every day, wh