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Returning to the Abyss and Diving in

And...I'm back.

It's been a while. Nearly a full year. We should celebrate!

I don't know why but I keep coming back to blogging. I've never been consistent with it. I always forget to do it, but I actually want to try this time. Who knew actually planning, putting effort into working and then attempting to complete your goals will actually help you complete them?

I'm calling this the abyss because it all seems so daunting, despite the fact there are absolutely no consequences to me posting my opinions online. Not many people will read this blog. I will post this link to Twitter and Tumblr, and maybe some curious person may come across it, but other than that, it is unlikely to go viral. I'm not expecting massive backlash against my review of District 9 in 2017. So what is the issue? Why is it so hard to let people see your work?

For me, it's two-fold. The personal and the political.

Writing for me is very personal. I do it every day, whether it's bullet journalling, writing in my diary or writing and editing poetry. Sometimes I do all of these things in a day. None of these activities have to be displayed to anyone. The most I have shown people is when I submitted my poetry to the tutors at uni and when my housemate looks over my shoulder when I'm setting up my bullet journal each week.

Writing was so formative to me and is a big part of who I am. Therefore, in my brain, if someone doesn't like my writing, then someone doesn't like me.

Obviously untrue. Something that I must unlearn. But still a fear whether rational or not.

Secondly, the political. Having opinions online is the worst. Don't you hate it when someone has an opinion? They'll come on Twitter and shout "if you still cut the crusts off your sandwiches then you need to walk into flames immediately". This will then cause a debate.

"actually my mum cuts the crusts of her sandwiches as part of her religion"

"well your mum's a dick"

"my mum is dead actually"


And somehow, the Nazis get involved and we get into discussing eugenics. Like seemingly out of nowhere.

(It is entirely possible that this just happens due to the people I follow. Hence why I spend the least amount of time possible on Twitter I can)

The permanence and the temporariness of the internet makes it seem like everything is biggest deal in the world and also nothing to worry about at the same time. It can make your view of something very insignificant but also very harmful if not articulated in just the right way.

Like I've said, writing is important to me. I intend to do my research and tread tentatively into things that I'm not wholly knowledgeable about. But the concrete nature of having an opinion makes this whole process quite scary.

And yet, I intend to pursue it anyway.

The joy of writing is discovering something new about the subject, the language you use and yourself. By writing something down, I may change my entire mind about a topic.

To aid in this venture, I have created a challenge for myself. Whilst I do have ideas for posts, many will take time to research and write up. In the mean time, I have created prompts for a 5 day writing challenge.

Having goals is a good things but I'm not being too rigid with these. For example, I have to complete these prompts but they don't necessarily have to be in succession.

I'm going to write them below and if you happen to be reading this, if somehow you have managed to find it, then feel free to join in yourself. You could start a blog if you'd like. Or write them in your diary. Or get a piece of chalk and write them on the pavement. Dealer's choice.

1. Write a post about why you are blogging in the first place and what you hope to get out of the experience.
2. Describe a full day in your life
3. Reflect on how you have changed in the past two years
4. Write in detail about an object that has significance to you.
5. Pick a quote and interrogate its significance in your life

I'm going to say that this post has completed the first prompt on this list. Join me for number two shortly.